The Uninterpreted Life (en)

Over the course of our lives, most of us learn to interpret everything that happens around us. We interpret what people say to us or above us, we interpret the actions and behaviours of others and we even start to interpret the things that happen to us in life. Behind all this always hovers the question "What does this mean?". This habit of interpretation can become so strong that some people are really paralyzed by their constant interpretation. A bun that I order at the bakery falls to the ground -> "this means bad luck for the day". A sunny day and the birds are chirping -> "today something beautiful will happen to me." A person in the tram looks at me in a weird way -> "something is wrong with me today."

Especially draining becomes this habit when it develops into the constant self-critic that interprets and questions everything I think, say or do myself.

I am sitting in the meeting and crossing my arms -> "Oh no I am shielding myself, change that, change that. Open posture! Signal interest."

I raise my hand and share my thoughts -> no reaction except clearing of a throat -> "OMG this was a stupid answer for sure." These are some of endless possible examples. Usually this dynamic gets stronger the more important we evaluate the situation in which we are in.

We all know this from ourselves or at least see it in other people. The funny thing is that even though we know that it is fuckin' up our lives and makes us only more weird in social situations we tell each other all the time how important it is. You don't believe me? Go to any public speaking workshop, success coaching, any school really. You'll find so called 'experts' (by preaching this they are really the opposite) teaching the 'right way of doing xyz' to their crowd. Do this to look confident, say that to impress people and convey dominance, hold eye-contact, keep a diary, meditate, fast once a week, stand upright, breath deeply, and so on.

What is all that? Nothing but interpreted behaviour. Taking observable actions and putting them into boxes of 'good' and 'bad', 'desirable' and 'non-desirable', 'useful' and 'useless'. But what all these experts don't say (because apparently they haven't realized it yet) is that the only thing that adopting this kind of self-interpreting behaviour turns you in is... a moron. An uninteresting, unauthentic human being. Well, good investment of money, isn't it?

All these methods, tips, and tricks are nothing but a manipulation of oneself and it all starts with the interpretation of stuff into good and bad. In the end, what does a confident person care about his posture or his appearance or even about what others think about what he says? Zero. And it is particularly this that makes his confidence. It can't be faked by copying the behaviour of a confident person. This copying just shows the opposite of what was intended, it shows the insecurity within.

So, this is very freeing after all. Just do as you please, and don't give a fuck about what it could mean. You'll never really know anyway. Safes a lot of energy, makes your day brighter and maybe, just maybe, you will meet people who really like you for who you are.